Reason Number 2

I am thankful for cotton briefs. That old time underwear would really hold me back in my fast paced life.  I can see it now. Sorry I was late for that really important meeting, I was trying to get my underwear tied. Or, I can't play in the upcoming softball tournament because of I sprained my wrist when I tripped over my underwear. Look at the picture of women's underwear up there. That looks more like a weapon. Gives a whole new meaning to the idea of "concealed weapon."  If she falls on someone that thing probably would stab them in the neck.  No officer, I not am wearing (sorry I mean carrying) a concealed weapon.  Yes you are! 

 

The possibilities for tragedy are endless.  But perfect for a scary movie. In fact I am thinking of making a horror movie based on these things. Get one of those screaming actresses they always have in a horror movie. She will be there going on and on about how this is a terrible and dangerous place when all of the sudden those bones in her undies come alive, grow hands, and strangle her. (oh yeah, they put bones into their underwear back then.)

Title of the movie can be "The Hands from Down Under." (I bet all the zombies will be wearing these undies one day.) Now I know we all gotta go one day, but I'd rather it not be because of my undies stabbed me in the back. And that is why I am thankful for cotton briefs