I am thankful for heavy psychiatric medications. Not for me, for a couple of my former teachers. Granted, they seemed just fine before I took their class; but as everyone should know, correlation is NOT the same as causation. In other words, just because both of them had their break from reality just when they reached right about midterms of the semester I took their class (not the same semester) does not mean that my presence drove them nuts.
Let's look at the first case. I had been hearing so much about diversity and respect for other cultures. I was in college so I knew it was time to take it to the next level. It was time to take what I was hearing and put it into practice. My professor's name was Dr. Lxczj. (not completely sure of the spelling).
I arrive to Dr. Lxczj's exam exactly one minute early (should always arrive early to show respect). Then I took the little Buddha statue I had bought at this strange cigar shop just off campus and offered to let each student rub his belly for good luck. Dr. Lxczj became quite distraught. To this day I am not sure if it is because of I was charging a dollar a rub or just the fact that he disliked the Buddha. I tried to explain to him that I was showing respect and understanding for his culture and the ancient practices of his tribe. But after screaming at me that he was from Canada (yeah, I probably spelled his name wrong), he evicted me from class and ran like a little baby to tell the namby pambies at student accountability. (Basically, to put it in high school terms, he ran to tell the principal on me). Ms. Mamby Pamby really had trouble understanding that I just was trying to show respect to a strange custom. Actually, she had trouble understanding there was a strange custom even to consider. Yeah, she needed more education about diversity.
Now for case number two. This was the next semester. Dr. Smith (he was a very old white man, so no confusion about ancient rituals). He was very old, probably he had seen the big bang with his own two eyes. I mean, he was at least 35 or something. In fact, I think he stared at the big bang too long and that is why he had to wear those thick, and I mean like really thick, glasses.
Anyways, it got to be midterm time again. I was taught to respect my elders, so I brought a small bag of pebbles and rocks to the midterm. Not a big bag, just one of those walmart plastic grocery bags full. I am not sure if his extreme over-reaction was because of the bottom busted and the pebbles went all over the place or because of I told him I was paying honor to how he had learned the ancient ways of doing math. He became so furious that I am now thinking maybe they just counted on their finger and didn't use rocks; especially since he kept yelling something about why would I think he had used rocks. When I asked if it was bones they had used he demanded I leave the class immediately.
And I guess Dr. Lxczj had talked to him because he also went running to tell Ms. Mamby Pamby. In fact, come to think of it, she ended up on the same medications as Dr. Lxczj and Dr. Smith. You would think that our leaders at the university would be more stout of heart. But those heavy psychiatric medications got them right back on track.
And that is why I am thankful for heavy psychiatric medications.
